If we’re lucky, we arrive at the hotel room we booked ages ago to find it perfectly acceptable for,.. well,… sleeping in. After all, it’s not too much to ask for, is it - to get what you pay for? You’ll be pleased to hear that by booking one of lastminute.com’s top secret hotels, you’ll almost definitely wind up somewhere more than decent. After all, the rates and locations are so good that quite frankly, the hotels themselves don’t want to shout about them in case people start banging the doors down. You’ll find out when you get there, but that’s part of the adventure.
Sometimes, however, adventure is the last thing we want. Other hotels that rated high in our anticipations let us down completely and the view of the building site/stench of the loo/semi naked man lying inexplicably on your balcony, shivering, can somewhat tarnish our experience. Here are some of your own horror stories, with a few humorous ones thrown in for good measure. They occurred before you discovered us, obviously. You’ll know better in future…
“It was a friend of my ex-girlfriend’s wedding and she was the bridesmaid,.. naturally we got battered and wound up in the hotel bar at 4am with the father of bride and a loud, rough Northern bloke who was a cousin of the bride. He started buying us lots of booze and at the end of the night, when we said we’d go back to our room, he asked to come with us for a(nother) drink. We couldn’t say no really, so headed up to the room. My girlfriend realised she had left her handbag in the bar so went back to get it. I went into the bathroom. We both entered the room again at the same time to find this bloke naked on the bed with a… well, you know,… and he then asked us for a threesome. I had to wrestle him out of the room, naked.” – Mr D. Cheltenham
“I was on holiday with my mates in Spain and I got off with a waiter from the hotel, which meant I could lounge around topless by the pool and get free drinks brought over every 5 minutes. When I was at dinner one night my German flat mate gave me a phrase to repeat which I though meant “I think you’re cute” to say to my waiter boy. It actually meant “I’m horny, let’s f***” His face dropped, he was only 18 and had just arrived at the hotel. He probably didn’t know what had hit him!" – Miss C, S.Africa
“We stayed in a crowded room in a Youth Hostel in NZ a few years ago. There was a mixed bunch in the room, which we weren’t really happy with, but it was late so we just went to bed and passed out. The next morning I awoke in my top bunk to see the man across from me “playing with something” under the covers, whilst looking straight at me. I was terrified and disgusted. Needless to say we didn’t stay another night!” – Miss L, London
“In Sydney we met a girl who told us she had been thrown out of another hostel after being accused of having sex with a guy in a dorm room. We didn’t believe her. That night we saw her chatting to some toga clad blokes in the bar and they all got plastered on cheap wine. She snogged one and took him upstairs. I went up to our room to put some shoes on and found them both in bed. I heard this “Pssssst mate, you got a jonny?”. I gave him one and joked that he owed me. They didn’t even wait till I got out the door before they started. Five minutes later they were both back down in the bar again. I don’t know if she got thrown out of our hostel too..” – Mr C, London
“There's a hotel in Amsterdam with a resident, stoned cat. Possessed by the devil or wacky weed I'm sure. It sits in your lap purring then suddenly jerks, screeches and tears the living crap out of you. Airborne in a milsecond I tell you.” – Miss K, Australia
“A Customer called us from his mobile phone, having booked a top secret hotel in Mayfair. He had been into 4 hotels in Mayfair to ask if he was staying at any of them. After the 4th one he called us and we kindly pointed out that the name and address of his hotel was on the top of his confirmation email. He had wasted 4 hours playing find the hotel room like Challenge Anneka!” – Mr A, London
“In Cyprus, we opened up the french windows in the morning to find on the balcony, a drunken, bruised, vomit covered, bald-headed scouser, curled up foetal-fashion underneath my beach towel. When we woke him up it turned out he wasn't even staying at the hotel - he had pulled a girl the night before who in the cold light of the morning had turned out to be a minger, so he'd climbed out to the balcony to sneak away but had then realised that it was too far to jump down into the street. After climbing across the balconies and trying a few windows he was worried she was going to wake up and see him out there, so he'd curled up on our balcony and fallen asleep hiding under my beach towel, after vomiting on it, obviously. Mmm, it was like Christmas come early." – Miss S, London
“Once in a hotel in Edinburgh we were put into a room with a stand alone heater, plug sockets hanging off the walls and a flooded toilet, including a FLOATER. Almost more disturbing – we went out on Sat night and left some muffins on the bedside table. When we got back they were gone, just the box was there.” – Mr P. London
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