Masturbate-a-Thon 2006
It might not come as a surprise to learn that this day of sexual silliness originated in America. Well, they're not exactly reknowned for being shy over there are they? Now it's bodily fluids abound in Britain too as the wank-a-thon comes to London. It's no hand job too small in Clerkenwell this Saturday as men and women "struggle" to beat the world record for the longest wank, which, in case you're wondering, currently stands at an undoubtedly painful eight and a half hours. Y
eeeooow.
It's all perfectly safe. It's not (so they say) the mighty orgy you might expect. Actually it's all in the name of charity. Hmmm... ironic isn't it, that a truck load of (ahem) fluids, in one relatively small area is supposed to highlight the message of practicing safe-sex. Well, what I mean is, it's not usually at its safest when your doing the unspeakables next to twenty nine other randoms you've never met before.Still, there's logic in there somewhere I'm sure, as well as one hefty load of lube.
No cheaters allowed, (tut, as if!). Seriously, if you're a bit of a faker you won't get away with it here - they've got 'experts' on hand (no pun intended) to make sure every orgasmic explosion is real. So no hiding frogspawn in your pockets lads, and ladies, no Harry Met Sally outbursts in the name of drama. They'll be onto you like a Rampant Rabbit on Duracell.
The whole thing's being filmed for Channel 4 and they're planning to broadcast it later in the year. So if you're sick of that filty so and so bragging about his assets, get him to put his money where his, errrr, member is, and cough up the tenner to enter. He might just be the next BIG thing.
The Masturbation Marathon London event takes place at Drop Studios, Clerkenwell on Saturday 5th August. The Channel 4 Wank-a-thon TV programme will be aired at a later date.
For further information contact [email protected]
Thinking i was going to see some holiday bargains in your e-mail i was disgusted to see this smut included. I have no desire whatsoever to know anything about a "Masturbation Marathon" I have now unsubscribed from all of last minute.com communications.
DO NOT SEND ME ANY MORE OF THIS FILTH.
Posted by: Michael McClarence | 04/08/2006 at 12:21 AM
Michael.... So you will be going then?!!
Posted by: JP | 04/08/2006 at 06:38 AM
Oh Michael, the only way you could have read the whole story is by clicking on it, so you must have wanted to read it!
Why such a prude? Everyone masturbates, and you sound like you should!
Get a grip of yourself!
Posted by: Joho | 04/08/2006 at 09:17 AM
Thinking i was going to see some smut about wanking I was disgusted to see that your email included some holiday bargains. I have no desire whatsoever to know anything about a "Holiday" as I have used up my years leave.
SEND ME MORE OF THIS FILTH.
Posted by: zzzzzzz | 04/08/2006 at 11:04 AM
People have called me a wanker for 37 years now....does that count?
Posted by: Craig | 04/08/2006 at 11:55 AM
Try laterooms Michael, they're a little more straight-laced
more filth please
Posted by: HRG | 04/08/2006 at 02:17 PM
No, it doesn't look like Michael's coming. Not now, not ever.
Posted by: Andrew | 06/08/2006 at 05:44 PM