Maybe it’s ju
st me, but whenever I hear the word ‘disco’ I step right back to year six at St John’s Primary, when Ian Smith bought me a Kit Kat and tried to kiss me in the cricket bat cupboard. Those junior ‘gym hall’ discos may have left a scar, but add a water element that doesn’t involve chucking your Ribena over a passionate nine year old and you’ll be surprised at how your opinions can change.
On Saturday night, some equally wary friends and I donned our glad-rags (minus the pigtails and puffball skirts) and headed to Westminster Pier to board the Thames Riverboat Disco Cruise…
Luckily for us, it was a gorgeous Spring evening as we walked the plank (ahem) and settled into our seats on the brand spanking new MV Erasmus. We made sure we were close to one of its two bars and the buffet table, naturally, and slowly but surely the ship filled up with equally optimistic dancing divas. We were a little surprised at the 29 strong hen party, complete with pink feather boas and L plates, but we didn’t really have to stare at them for very long – there was too much of our lovely London to look at out
of the windows.
Lucy, Kate, Sarah and I sipped our way through three bottles of wine as we watched Canary Wharf, the London Eye, Tower Bridge and the mighty Barrier glide by. Our chicken and pasta dinner was basic fodder but welcomed in light of the alcohol consumption, and as the hours passed and London faded into darkness through the windows, we climbed upstairs and joined the ladies in “hen night heaven”. Sarah couldn’t believe the sight as one of them wrapped herself 
around a pole and promptly fell on the floor: “imagine a Shameless wedding reception”. But to be honest, it didn’t take long before we were shaking it up with the rest of them. We even smoked a cigar. Well,... you have to on a ship, don’t you?
The DJ didn’t seem to own any music post 1999, but still, he played all the essential disco classics, from Gloria Gaynor to those Uni faves from Five. Everybody GET UP! The staff kept the whole place clean and constantly collected glasses, and it wasn’t even a hassle (or that expensive) to get served at the bar. As we sailed under Tower Bridge on our way back to Westminster, most of us gathered on the deck to take photos and toast to the sights of our fabulous city.
In fact, standing out there, sipping cheap wine with the wind rushing through my hair, listening to Disco Inferno making waves inside, I couldn’t help but think that had Ian Smith been there then with his pathetic Kit Kat offerings, I would have flung it into the Thames and kissed him anyway. What the hell!
It might not be the classiest night out you’ll ever have, but for a group of girls looking for some classic London fun, what could be better than hitting the Thames and dancing it up until midnight? Better not ask the bride to be – last seen covered in pasta sauce, shooting tequilas. - By Becky Wicks
Book your Thames Disco Cruise here
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